This post is an excerpt of Unf*ck Your Life, a series available to SEO Revolution and The Game Plan members. To access the entirety of this Unf*ck Your Life series, as well as a complete and regularly updated arsenal of SEO how-to’s, tools and best practices (with a little grey hat fun thrown in for the adventurous), choose a membership: SEO Revolution or The Game Plan. Enjoy!

I have jokenly said that my last words on this earth will be, “That doesn’t look so hard. Here, hold my beer.” Okay, that sounds like more of a bad decision, but when ever I hear someone say, “That is a bad idea” I simply say this …

“Years ago in a room probably similar to this, someone said, ‘Hey, let’s do a movie about sharks coming out of tornados.’”

Bad idea? Alec Baldwin is right. There are no bad ideas as that “bad idea” turned into Sharknado, grossed hundreds of millions and sequels followed. I rest my case.

Wait, are you one of those people that will challenge the “no bad idea” policy by saying, “Let’s all jump out of this fifth story window to see if we can fly.”

Well, now you’re just being an ass. Stop it.

The point of this is to stop dismissing things because they get labeled “bad idea.” You never know until you try. Many of the techniques I discovered in SEO were labeled just that, but I tested them anyway. Guess what? Some worked. Want to hear some other things that had the “bad idea” label?

HP was known just not as a printer company, but also the company that instills in their employees the “What if” mantra…so much that they had an ad campaign about it. How their best ideas were hatched in the shower before coming to work. Seriously, they did. However, one time someone proposed that they drastically reduce the price of the printers they manufactured and instead focus on selling ink cartridges. “Stupidest idea ever” was the majority rule. Good thing they didn’t listen as HP did just that and became dominant.

Someone had an idea to put sleeves on a blanket. The Snuggie was born.

When Google was founded they were the 20th search engine and those who were ad heavy were taking huge losses. Google launched with no ads and a clean interface.

The examples are endless. The bottom line is, give it a try. You will never know unless you give it a shot.

Rock on,

“Work Smarter – Not Harder”

It’s one of the most used and misunderstood statements in business and in life. It was once associated with the lazy, who used the statement as a crutch to disguise their poor work ethic.

Is there truth to it? Absolutely.

There’s certainly merit in stopping trying to do everything yourself. Where it gets interesting is when you stop the useless act of improving your weaknesses. As my grandfather once said, focus on making your strengths stronger and forget about your weaknesses – hire out for that stuff. Or, something like that.

Don’t know what your strengths and weaknesses are? Take my Motivation Factor test.

In 12 minutes you will figure yourself out, and you’ll know what to focus on and what to hire out for.

Take this picture to heart. For Wile E. Coyote, the process is simple: stop chasing the Roadrunner since he doesn’t have the speed to catch him. Hire someone faster, like Sonic the Hedgehog. That’s called working smart instead of hard. Get it?

You focus on the great ideas and then get the right people to execute them. In other words, focus on making your strengths stronger and let your weaknesses get weaker. Then surround yourself with people who are strong in your weak areas. You just may build the team you’ve always dreamed of.

The end. It isn’t complicated.

Now if you want to figure out how you, yourself can get more done in less time, just Google “The Pomodoro Technique” and give it a shot.

You might be shocked at how much you can get done in two hours time.

I’ve left comments on in this post – let me know what your best resources for efficiency and working smarter are.

Rock on,

This post is an excerpt of Unf*ck Your Life, a series available to SEO Revolution and The Game Plan members. To access the entirety of this Unf*ck Your Life series, as well as a complete and regularly updated arsenal of SEO how-to’s, tools and best practices (with a little grey hat fun thrown in for the adventurous), choose a membership: SEO Revolution or The Game Plan. Enjoy!

I’ve been in this business a long time and have seen a lot of people start and quit because they hold onto the thought that, “If this doesn’t work, there will be another opportunity.”

While that’s optimistic in a way, it’s also a recipe for failure.

Stop looking at Plan B and focus entirely on your current Plan A.

Look at your past failure(s) and I can bet that you didn’t give it your all, you had one foot in and one foot out. You know it’s true. It’s one of the biggest reasons why people fail in this business. They by a course, don’t complete it. They hire a mentor, don’t follow their advice. They hire an outsourcer and don’t properly train them.

Do you get it now?

Do you understand that nearly every failure is because you didn’t give all to the project? That ends now.

Get your business journal (you have one, right?), and write down why you put things off, what your fears are, what is holding you back. Once you finish writing, walk away for a half hour. Get outside and do something non-work related. Come back, get your business journal and read out loud what you wrote down.

Can you see how it sounds like total bullshit? You are lying to yourself! Drifting. You know better, but you keep the fake positive “next project” attitude.

You are lazy and indifferent. Let Napoleon Hill explain what that is doing to you:

Laziness + Indifference = Procrastination = Drifting

The Devil says: “I cause people to allow me to do their thinking for them because they are too lazy and too indifferent to think for themselves.”

This is from Outwitting the Devil, which is an absolute MUST READ and one that I will often be quoting in this series of UnF**king Yourself.

You are more than what you have become. Take the step today to stop being lazy and cease to be indifferent and give all to your project today. And tomorrow. And the day after that.

In as soon as a week you’ll be amazed at how successful your project became.

“Forced Affection Day” (hat tip to Liz Devlin) is here. Nearly every woman in the western world is swooning, and nearly every man is groaning. For good reason. It is a “holiday” set up for failure.

It’s due to unrealistic expectations. The overpriced roses, candy, and teddy bears. It could be an Olympic sport seeing the men dashing to the store on their way home from work to pick up the needed “provisions” to stay out of the proverbial doghouse. But odds are, despite their good intentions, they will fall short of expectations. Allow me to illustrate…

Exhibit A: While at the Pub tonight, there was a group of three women and one said, “I just want the Romeo and Juliet romance experience for Valentine’s Day!”

I couldn’t contain myself.

“You want what?!?! Have you EVEN read the story?”

“Of course I have silly,” she quipped back. “It is beautiful and romantic and is every woman’s dream.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!?! The relationship lasted less than a week, three people were murdered and Romeo and Juliet each committed suicide. Is that your idea of romance?!?!”

They each picked up their drink and moved to the other side of the bar.

Welcome to the South where the education system failed decades ago. More importantly, the idea of romance that has been implanted in the minds of people in the western world is as warped as the story of Romeo and Juliet. Those two were bat-shit crazy!!! But I digress…

Just stop celebrating this day already. Why do you succumb to the marketing machine that dictates when you have to be romantic and affectionate? If you have a significant other, they should already know that you think they are fucking awesome, because it is something that you do, on your terms, not based on a date on a calendar.

And before you think if you throw Valentine’s Day in the dumpster fire that your relationship will be hell, let me give you a gift. Fixing yourself and your current relationship.

“What?” you’re thinking. “Jerry, you’re twice-divorced, and you’re going to give relationship advice?”

Yeah. Hell, both my ex-wives hate my soul, so who better to give you advice than someone who has been to hell and back TWICE and not only lived to tell about it, but came out more awesome. ;)

The divorce rate is right around 50%, and that takes into account first, second, third, fourth, and what the hell, fifth marriages. It’s high. Higher than it should be. Why? Because half of the people in the western world fall into one of two categories: a saver or a victim. And I don’t mean a “saver” in a financial way, and both men and women can take on either role.

Savers are those who think of themselves as “white knights,” and their role in life is to “save” the other person (the Victim) from the “peril” they have fallen into. And by doing this, the Saver will receive (in their mind) love, appreciation, and/or sex from the Victim as their “reward.”

The Victims have their role too. They manufacture drama to get the attention of the Saver because they believe if they look like the helpless victim, someone will come along to solve their “problems” and give them the love, romance, and/or sex that they crave.

If this sounds at all familiar, keep reading, you CAN fix this.

Let me give you an example that you might be able to relate to. Many years ago when I was married, I was out-of-state closing an important business deal. As I normally did, I brought my wife and kids with me. They were at the hotel pool about 20 minutes away while I negotiated the deal.

About half-way through the talks, my phone starts blowing up from my wife. After the third call in a row, I excuse myself and take the call. She’s hysterical. She explained that there were these black people at the hotel and they made threats to damage her car and to her personally. I advised her to call the police immediately, but she refused stating it would just incite the situation and make it worse. She pled for me to return to the hotel.

I did. At 110 mph.

When I arrived, I was greeted with a sight I was not expecting. The “threatening black people” my wife warned me against, was a high school church choir group. I’m not kidding. They were the nicest kids I had ever run into!!

“What the actual fuck,” I said out loud.

To wrap up the dramatic story, there was no incident where threats were made. She made it up. She did it to get me to come back to her. She wanted to see where I mattered in her life. Would I leave an important business meeting to come to her rescue?

Now, before you go thinking my ex-wife was crazy, I had a big part in this too. We were both fucked up. Let me further explain, and it just might shed so much light on your current or past relationships that you say out loud, “Holy fuck, THAT’S it!!!” And a hat tip to Mark Mason, and his book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” on bringing to the forefront on how fucked up I truly was.

You see, the roles of Victim and Saver between my wife and I did not form while we were married. We had those roles BEFORE we met. In fact, that is the main reason why we were attracted to each other and felt instant chemistry on our first date. She was the one that started fires to make herself feel important, and I put out those fires because it made me feel important. Our dysfunction fed off each other and gave us emotional highs. Now, to be clear, that isn’t the definition of a bad relationship; it is the exact definition of a TOXIC relationship.

We were toxic but just couldn’t see it.

And the insanity of this is that even though we saw four different marriage counselors during our time together, not one saw this. And it is clear as day to me now.

We both used each other as a means of escape. We took no responsibility for our own problems, and instead, we took responsibility for each other’s problems. This means we had no boundaries. While you may think that was sweet and considerate of us to worry about each other, it was based on selfishness and insecurity.

This is what our relationship looked like:

“You used to come home immediately after conferences out-of-state, now you stay a few more days away from us. You should be home with your family.”

“I can give you a job as event coordinator if that will help you feel more important and involved in my business.”

“You never tell me the names of the people you meet at conferences. You used to, but now I never get names anymore.”

“My new staff is struggling. I am not going to be able to make it to your mom’s for dinner; I have to explain this process to them once again.”

Some of these may seem innocent enough, but they are wrought with Victim and Saver roles which leads to “traps” in the relationship. First, she expected me to take responsibility for her problems. I’d come home from work and would have consulting calls scheduled, “I wanted a nice relaxing night at home with you, you should have known that and not scheduled work.” Or, in my case, I would take on too much responsibility and take on her problems: “Her flower business is struggling, but it is probably my fault because I didn’t work hard enough on her website to get her better rankings and more leads. I’m going to push client work aside and work on her site all day tomorrow.”

Our problem is we didn’t outline our respective values. Instead, she either focused on making me happy, or I expected her to make me happy, and visa-versa.

That is what we call a self-defeating relationship and the reason our relationship burned to the ground as we were separated just two months after the incident aforementioned.

Newsflash: People can’t solve your problems for you because even if they did, you wouldn’t be happy. This is fact. You might think they would, but they don’t. Happiness comes from solving YOUR OWN problems. The same goes for you trying to solve other people’s problems because it won’t make them happy either.

If you are thinking, “So, I shouldn’t help my partner with their problems anymore?” No, you idiot. That isn’t what this is about. This is about your intentions. If your focus is to solve your partner’s problem because if you do you’ll feel important and even be rewarded with sex or other extra attention, THAT is the problem. You should do it because you CHOOSE to, not because there is something in it for you.

Get it now?

Back to my ex-wife and I. We failed in meeting each other’s needs, we both had shitty self-worth, and our communication was near non-existent. We would avoid each other. She would go to bed early, and I would stay up late playing video games or working. I’d spend more time than I needed to at the office, and I’d extend business trips to avoid time at home.

What happened was she created more and more problems to solve, not because these problems were real, but she just wanted attention from me. She craved affection. And instead of seeing her need, I was an idiot and I solved every problem I could, not because I actually cared about the problems – and since I’m being open about it, I was more interested in getting her to shut up and stop bitching about ridiculous things. And to showcase how much of a delusional asshole I was, I actually thought doing this would also get me sex.

Mark Mason sums up perfectly how we could have fixed our shit, and how you can fix your shit. If my wife would have said, “I have a problem, you don’t have to fix it for me, just support me while I fix it for me, and this is how you can best help me. Can you do that?” THAT would be a demonstration of love; taking full responsibility for your problems, not holding your partner responsible for them, and outlining how you want support.

For me, if I really wanted to save my wife from all the shit she was feeling, I should have said, “You’re blaming others for your own problems, but you need to deal with them yourself.” While that may seem like an asshole move, it really isn’t. It is showing love in that you are telling your partner clearly and distinctly to solve their own problems, and stop playing the Victim role while at the same time stopping the Saver role.

And this isn’t to say that if you currently fall in this cycle that the best choice is divorce. That would be stupid. Why? Because you will end up attracting the same type of person as before and you’ll just end up in the same shitty situation. You have to fix yourself. Break the cycle dammit!

If you have played the Victim role, the hardest thing for you is to start holding yourself accountable for your problems and stop making up drama to make yourself feel worthwhile. One of the best things you can do is stop posting anything personal on Facebook or talking to family or friends about your marriage. This is going to be terrifying for you, but it is the only way to have the relationship that you want and stop self-sabotaging it.

If you are in the Saver role, the hardest thing for you is going to stop trying to rescue everyone, including your significant other. I get it, you have spent your whole life feeling valued by saving other people, coming to the rescue, saving the day, etc. And those constant fantasies in your head that you miraculously are the hero is based on delusion.

Fact: Acts of love are only valid if they are done without conditions or expectations.

If you’re a Saver, how do you know the difference between acts of love done with conditions and expectations or without? Just ask yourself one question: “If I refused to help my significant other, would the relationship change? If so, how?” Now, if the answer is a major blowup and high drama, then you have a problem. A big problem. Your relationship is conditional and could be borderline toxic.

The solution is to first recognize which role each of you plays and see how it has fucked up your relationship. The clearest way to see this is to realize you aren’t getting out of the relationship what you expected, but you still love each other.

Next, is to come up with agreed values between you and your significant other. Then set boundaries. Strong boundaries. Doing so, put you in control of fixing your own problems while leaning on your partner for healthy support when you need it, instead of expecting them to fix things for you.

You see, it’s not about giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; it’s about giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives. THAT is what unconditional love is.

Rock on.

This post is an excerpt of Unf*ck Your Life, a series available to SEO Revolution and The Game Plan members. To access the entirety of this Unf*ck Your Life series, as well as a complete and regularly updated arsenal of SEO how-to’s, tools and best practices (with a little grey hat fun thrown in for the adventurous), choose a membership: SEO Revolution or The Game Plan. Enjoy!

Get it?

The drama of life will happen. It is part of life. However, you may not be aware that you manufacturer most of it. Think I’m full of it? Okay, try this exercise and tell me how things look in just a week.

Step One: Stop posting anything of a personal nature on Facebook.

Why this will work: Without realizing it, much of what people post is an invitation for drama creation either by personally complaining about your life or bragging about your life. You will now do neither publicly. You instead will just “be.”

Step Two: Stop discussing your personal life problems with anyone except your significant other and therapist.

Why this will work: Did you know your friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family aren’t licensed therapists, and their advice is usually complete garbage? True story. Worse, it is also a manufacturing facility for drama. That isn’t emotionally healthy for you.

Also, what the **** are you doing discussing your love life with your friends and family? Yeah, that is going to make the next get together real comfortable /sarcasm. Just stop doing it already. You are a professional in your business, start acting like it in your personal life.

I have a weekly session with a therapist even when I feel 100% emotionally healthy. Why? I get to spend 30-60 minutes as a “bitch session” and complain all I want, and she just listens. Sometimes she offers advice; sometimes she doesn’t. It doesn’t matter. What is important is I have a sounding board. Getting my stress and frustrations out there with no repercussions of my words because of the person listening to me is being paid.

Don’t have a therapist? That’s your assignment today. Get one. You don’t even have to stick with a local one. Mine is out of state, and we have Skype conversations. That way I’m not wasting my time driving to and from their office. Plus, I can have the sessions when I am on the road too. It has probably been one of the smartest things I have done.

The great thing about therapists is they connect with different people and even though the two I use are awesome, doesn’t mean they will be awesome for you. However, if you get frustrated in your search, PM me and I will send you their contact information. I’m not posting it here as I want you to find one on your own. It is all part of this process of Unf**king Yourself.

Step Three: Show Gratitude

Why This Works: It is easy to get wrapped up in the stresses of the day and feel overwhelmed. Look around you. Right now you have much to be grateful for, do you not? Start each day realizing how good you have it, especially the people who are close to you in your life who make your life better just by being there. They kick ass, and you should tell them that. Seriously, you should.

This post might be short, but this assignment is HUGE, and it is going to take you some time to get there as it did for me. If you do nothing else today, hire a therapist (you can always change later), and make a list of all you are grateful for…and if you have a significant other, take him or her somewhere quiet and tell them how f**king awesome they are. I mean REALLY tell them.

And if they think you are crazy, tell them I put you up to it, and they’ll get it. I’ll take the fall.

Your life is better than you realize and every day it is going to get a little bit better. Stick with it.

Since it’s Super Bowl week, a football story is fitting. Back in the ‘90s, there was a powerful running back out of Michigan named LeRoy Hoard. If you’ve never heard of him, that’s okay; his career wasn’t spectacular. And no, it had nothing to do with the fact he was drafted by the Cleveland Browns. ;)

After six years in Cleveland, he was cut after two games in 1996, the season the Browns moved to Baltimore and became the Ravens. Carolina signed him, and he lasted just three games with the Panthers before being cut. It seemed his career was over. When Minnesota called, he decided he needed to change his approach from wanting to be the featured running back, to what he was best at: short yardage and goal-line situations.

He reportedly said,

“Coach, if you need one yard, I’ll get you three yards. If you need five yards, I’ll get you three yards.”

No, that’s not a typo, as Hoard understood his limitations. The Vikings signed him, and he would play for another three years. He did exactly as he said, he’d pick up the tough yards and score the touchdowns. In three full seasons with the Vikings, Hoard scored 24 touchdowns. Minnesota flourished.

He was signed because he managed the expectations, so they knew exactly what they were getting and were pleased with the results. If he would have said “I can be “the guy” and rush for 1,500 yards and 15 TDs” the Vikings would have probably passed.

Are you doing the same in your business? Are you telling prospects you can get them ranked for a competitive phrase in less than a month? Or worse, in a week because you are so desperate for the work?

If you are, you’re just going to create an uncomfortable conversation in the not so distant future, and you’ll be looking for another client.

I learned the magic of client expectations from my grandfather. Clients want things done on time, and they want clear communication through the process. You have full control over both aspects.

Here’s the secret: Take the expecting time to complete the project, double it, and then add a few more days. Then every 1-3 days, fire off a short, to the point email on the progress.

For example, if you tell a client you will have the project done in three days, but deliver in five, they will be pissed and may not renew with you. However, if you tell the client you will deliver in ten days, and you deliver in five, they might just hug you.

This is managing expectation at its finest. Rarely does a project go smoothly from start to finish, but for some reason, in your head, you think it will be. You think you are a bullet-proof rock star and can work through the night to get the project done quickly for the client. The problem with that thinking is, the next project, they will expect the same quick delivery. The expectation has been set, and the client will always hold you to it.

The reality of life is you run into unforeseen delays, illness from staff, technology issues, etc. You must have a buffer to get the problems handled and still deliver on time. This may seem like common sense, but the practice of this strategy is far from common.

Just as you take careful consideration when framing your offer, you also have to frame expectations to keep your clients happy, and it will also positively affect your staff as there will be far less stress in your office.

Rock on.

2018’s inaugural episode of SEO and Beer has landed! Jerry West and Michelle MacPhearson talk new year resolutions, dream boards, Oprah and dating. And there’s some business shit in there too for good measure. Rock on!

This post is an excerpt of Unf*ck Your Life, a series available to SEO Revolution and The Game Plan members. To access the entirety of this Unf*ck Your Life series, as well as a complete and regularly updated arsenal of SEO how-to’s, tools and best practices (with a little grey hat fun thrown in for the adventurous), choose a membership: SEO Revolution or The Game Plan. Enjoy!

So this is where I get personal. Through this series, it has been all about unfucking your life, and much of the advice I’ve given you has come from my own personal experience. Seriously, if you are one of my close friends reading this, you already know there isn’t another person on this earth who has had a more fucked up life than me. I don’t say that to gain your sympathy. As if I would.

I say it because if I can get through my shit, you can get through yours too.

My problem was I listened to too many people, wanted everyone to like me and wanted to accumulate material possessions to show off my success. My therapist said I did this because I was picked on as a kid, told I wouldn’t amount to anything by former spouses and was told by someone close to me that I needed to stop living in a fantasy land. What does that mean? It meant I had to get a real job, get new friends and delete my Facebook account.

Da fuck?!?!

That’s when I “woke up” and realized everyone around me wanted me to be a different person, and I wanted to please all of them. One morning I just had it. I was being pulled in so many directions I couldn’t even focus enough to send an email to my team.

I chose to take the day off, getting my business journal and going up to the mountains of North Carolina for the day. I hiked to the peak of a mountain and sat there thinking about what it was that I wanted. Me. Not anyone else. (And yes, the picture above is from that hike with my iPhone – no filters)

The TL;DR version is, I figured out that I really liked my life, I just didn’t like all the directions I was allowing myself to be pulled in. Notice I didn’t say that I was being pulled, but that I was allowing it to happen. Because I was giving too many fucks.

I love what I do, and I’m damn good at it. Sure it is a roller coaster at times with the shifts in Google and Facebook, but working for someone else, that would be a nightmare for everyone involved because I always think I’m right. Always. And I almost always am.

Can you see now why I’m twice divorced? :)

Here is what I figured out about me, and this was three years ago. I wrote down the following:

– The place I want to live. How it would FEEL. I didn’t focus on location, size, amenities (besides awesome Wi-Fi), I focused solely how it would feel.
– Work environment. Same drill based on FEEL and PRODUCTIVITY options.
– What I wanted in a relationship, and again, focusing on the FEEL.
– A list of people I had full trust in.
– A list of people I fully didn’t trust but relied on for approval.
– A list of all the things that made me happy and content in life.

Now understand that the day before this momentous hike I was diagnosed with severe depression and prescribed some heavy meds that I hadn’t started taking yet because the side effects scared the shit out of me. This is all running through my head as I looked at this list in my hand. My head became clear in just a matter of minutes and the answer was clear as day to me.

I will admit, I was shocked by the answer, but at the same time, it felt as if a huge cloud left my head.

The place I wanted to live that I described was the place I was already living in. Same with my work environment. You see, I built an office on my property that’s 2,000 square feet, and the house is an old farm house built in 1896 that I restored that’s 3,500 square feet. Yeah, you might think it is a little much for one person, but it is a great retreat in between my travels.

It has a kick-ass patio area for parties. It’s on three acres of land and across the street is a few hundred acres of woods with mountain bike trails and running paths. Three blocks down is the lake to go paddle boarding. It’s quiet. People leave me alone. It’s perfect. I just couldn’t see it. Oh, and my mortgage is just over $1,000 a month.

What the hell was I depressed over?!?!

It was all the people I allowed to pull me in so many directions. They wanted me to be a different person. Each had a specific need they wanted me to fulfill for them. Meanwhile, I was destroying myself. Who I really was. The “essence of Jerry” was dying.

Fuck that shit. Fuck it all.

I finally had figured out what was TRULY most important in my life, and just as important WHOM was truly most important in my life. I simply said, “I don’t give a fuck about anything not on this list.” And as I sit and write this out over three years later, I’m grinning from ear to ear knowing that this is probably the happiest I’ve been in my life. I’m not going to lie to you; it has been a rough road.

Do I still have shit days? Of course. Am I void of feeling? No. Despite what my ex-wives say about me, I might be an asshole, but I’m no psychopath. :) I roll with the shit days realizing they happen. The difference, the shit days aren’t as shitty as they used to be because I now “get it.” And I “get it” because I have a clear understanding of what I want out of life and who I want in my life. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

This is what it means by “I Don’t Give a Fuck” because you know WHAT and WHO are important in your life. Nothing else matters. Distractions are minimal, the drama is nearly zero, contentment is high, and food, wine, sleep, sex, it is all better than it ever has been.

You’re saying to yourself right now, “I want that too,” and of course you do. All those things are awesome. This is why this section is in here because it isn’t enough to make it big in this business, it is having someone to share it with that you say “Fuck Yes” to and they do the same. But most important, you are at peace with yourself. You know what you want and nothing else matters. I can’t tell you how fucking awesome that is.

You see, you get frustrated because you don’t know that yet. You don’t know the peace. You don’t know what will really make you happy because you have never really figured out what you want. Find that out. It isn’t easy, and what is harder is to let go of the dreams and people who have been keeping you down for so long.

Remember when I said I wrote down what I wanted based on how I would FEEL? That is a lot different than wanting something based on how it would look to someone else and then resenting them for it when you become unhappy over it. Seriously, stop fucking up your life. Stop allowing people to pull you in a direction you know you don’t want to go in.

You might think it is rude or bad manners to say “no” to someone, but I have news for you, it’s rude and bad manners to resent someone for something you allowed to happen. So stop it already and figure out what is going to make YOU happy, and what people you want to surround yourself with. And then have the courage to say you don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone else that is not on your list.

It isn’t easy, and what is harder is to let go of the dreams and people who have been keeping you down for so long. Trust me, this process is far more effective in helping you get what you want than what you’ve been doing.

Take a deep breath…you’re frustration is coming to an end soon just as it did for me.

Rock on.

Imagine for a moment you are the ruler of an independent state, literally the size of a major city, and you have dedicated more than three decades of your life building it from a backwater fishing port to one of the key economic players in the world. You learn that the primary source of economic prosperity is being jeopardized by a union strike.

What would you do?

Would you cave to their demands, so the millions of lives you govern do not suffer and the millions you have spent in advertising do not go to waste?

What would you do?

If you answered “Nothing,” then you would be on par with the great Lee Kuan Yew.

Who?

Let me tell you a story. On June 3, 1959, Singapore gained independence from Malaysia, and two days later they would elect Lee Kuan Yew as their first prime minister, a position he would hold until 1990. But before he left office, he had his most significant stand, and one that would capture his legacy.

In the late 80s, the pilots of Singapore Airlines, and members of the SIA union went on strike. The strike was just two weeks old, and Singapore Airlines was losing millions. The government was losing millions as well from the advertising they had invested in.

Yew was displeased and was not willing to discuss with SIA on the phone; he demanded the leaders of the union to come in for a face-to-face meeting.

When they sat down, Yew said he was willing to offer them one thing. Nothing. He pointed angrily at the pilots from across the table, just five feet from him and ordered them back to work. Once the discipline of the pilots was restored, they could then come back to have a fair hearing of their demands instead of this illegal strike.

Yew then clinched both of his fists and began shaking them, stating if they refused he would tap into every resource he had, and with the people of Singapore backing him, he would teach the pilots a lesson they would never forget.

With fire in his eyes, he threatened to let Singapore Airlines burn to the ground than to have a negotiation with cowards. He would start a new airline from scratch, and they would regret their decision for the rest of their lives.

They left the room to discuss, and it took just 65 minutes for them to fully surrender to Yew, end the strike and get back to work.

A year later the SIA union was deregistered, and 15 members of the union were tried and convicted for starting the illegal strike. Today, Singapore Airlines is one of the most respected airlines in the world.

Yew told the people of Singapore after the strike ended,

“This is not a game of cards, this is your life and mine. I spent a whole lifetime building this, and as long as I’m in charge, nobody is going to knock it down.”

In your business, you will have constant threats from competitors and also internally from partners and employees. Are you going to allow them to push you around, or are you willing to burn it all to the ground and start over? You must show to your enemies that you aren’t one to mess with because this is not a game, it is your livelihood. For if you bow down to every threat that is placed before you, you will lose the one thing which is most precious.

Respect.

As a leader, it is far better to be feared than to be loved. Yew personified that perfectly.

Rock on.

This post is an excerpt of Unf*ck Your Life, a series available to SEO Revolution and The Game Plan members. To access the entirety of this Unf*ck Your Life series, as well as a complete and regularly updated arsenal of SEO how-to’s, tools and best practices (with a little grey hat fun thrown in for the adventurous), choose a membership: SEO Revolution or The Game Plan. Enjoy!

I love football.

No really. I love football.

I bleed Silver and Black, the colors of the Raiders. While they showed a resurgence in 2016, they regressed in 2017 and fired their coach. For the last 20 years or so they have sucked. And that’s being conservative.

Stick with me; it will be worth it.

This picture is taken on a dark day as a Raider fan. I still stay inside all day on this date because I think something terrible will happen if I go out. No seriously, I do. Someone stop me.

The Date: January 5, 1986

The Raiders were heavy favorites to go to the Super Bowl that year. Marcus Allen, Howie Long, Lester Hayes (pictured), Mike Haynes, and the list goes on. The Raiders never made it out of the divisional round of the playoffs, losing to the Patriots 27-20…despite scoring 20 points in the first half.

Yeah, that’s right, getting shut out in the second half. You don’t win many games doing that.

This was a failure of epic proportions, and the team started on a downward spiral.

Failure is going to happen to you. This doesn’t mean you follow the advice of my former college roommate who said,

“I’m going to fail in business multiple times because Abraham Lincoln failed in business multiple times and he became President of the United States.”

Either someone dropped him, ate paint chips, or lived near power lines as a kid. That’s irrational thinking.

Failure is a part of the process. You figure out what works and what doesn’t. Don’t fall into the trap of being a projectionist. Don’t make your project perfect. Launch it 75% completed. Those who buy and complain it isn’t finished, give them something extra and deliver. But if it completely bombs? At least you didn’t waste your time completing the last 25%.

Get the point?

Good.

Failure is okay. Edison said he figured out hundreds of ways NOT to make a light bulb work. You will figure out many ways NOT to drive effective traffic to Facebook. It is called experience, which is a topic for another day.

Until then. Don’t be afraid to fail. You are figuring out what DOESN’T work. Once you find out what does work, fine tune in into a process.

And THAT is where success comes from.

Don’t believe me? Maybe you’ll listen to Steve Jobs then…